This week I got a little bit of my Star Trek mojo on. (I’m speaking of the first Star Trek, the one where Captain Kirk still looked dapper in his tight, shiny guru outfit and Mr. Spock looked like an older version of Eddie Munster.) Do you remember what their mission was? Exploration! Go where no man has ever gone before!
Well, I did that this week. I have a bad cold and as my husband, Gary, used to tell me, I don’t get illnesses, I get plagues. I’m waiting for strep results even as we speak. So, I’m home, sick and all my fridge has going for it is ice and mayonnaise.
Time to do something I had never done before: Online Grocery Shopping! Yeah, baby! I wrapped myself up on the couch, Kleenex box at the ready, computer on lap. How hard could this be, after all, I’m tech savvy. I actually know what a ‘curser’ is. I’ve Googled. I’ve Skyped and I’ve played that game where really upset birds squish pigs. I’ve got this.
Let me stop here to say, I have an old fashion streak, too. I still boil water in a tea pot right under my microwave’s nose. I believe that porch swings are a gift from God. And if I have a choice between using a washing machine or a scrub board? I’m old fashion, not stupid.
Two hours and a box of Kleenex later, exploration accomplished. As I fell to sleep, sitting up course because I couldn’t breathe, I floated through galaxies and dreamed of full refrigerators and M&Ms.
The next morning, still in my jammies, I drove to the store, my groceries were all bagged and ready. A cute little fella met me at the curb, loaded them up and even called me ‘honey’ like I was someone’s grandmother or something. I am someone’s grandmother, but still, that was not necessary.
At home I began to restock my lair. Here’s where it got weird. I discovered ten large Roma tomatoes, five beefsteak tomatoes and three bananas in one bag. I have a vague memory of thinking about ordering tomatoes. I have no memory of actually ordering them. Apparently, I did, several times. And, three bananas? Who buys just three bananas? Another bag had four hundred pounds of hamburger meat in it. Not exactly four hundred, but I had only ordered one pound, not the whole dang cow, I thought. And, glory be, I now have enough taco shells to last until the Lord comes again. A word of advice: Read the fine print. Weight and quantity are kind of important.
My exploration experiment taught me that trying something new gets the blood pumping again. Surviving trying
something new, gives us new skills we can use the next time we think about going where we have never gone before.
Live long and Prosperous, people!